It isn't about me anymore...

A friend of mine was talking about all of the things she wishes she could have done before having her son. Traveling... partying... college... etc... And I have read countless stories about young mothers having the same feelings. Even going as far as dumping their kids on relatives and babysitters, so they can go out every weekend. I understand wanting to have a social life. Believe me, I do, but it isn't about me anymore. It hasn't been about me since I first found out I was pregnant.

Pregnancy. There are tons of books and research done on the topic, but you never get the full story. For some women, pregnancy is a dream. No pain, no morning sickness, just the joy of feeling your baby grow and move. For others, like myself, it isn't such a walk in the park. Frankly, being pregnant sucked. Morning sickness is a terrible little devil that doesn't always go away and strikes any time of day or night, not only in the morning, as the name suggests. Heartburn is a beast and no amount of tums can take it away. Joint pains, waddling, backaches, headaches, feet swelling, not to mention being the size of a whale, are just a few of the other things expecting mothers can look forward to. However, it really is all worth it.

As a mother, no matter the age, we get to experience the purest form of love and adoration. despite the stretch marks, weight gain, lack of sleep, our children see us as the most beautiful, amazing person they have ever met. We are Moms. We have the least and highest paid job out there, but it is definitely the most important. We get to experience life first hand. Hearing it, seeing it, feeling it. We know that love at first sight, or even before actually meeting, is truly possible and so very strong. I won't lie, I cried like a baby when I first saw and held my little guy. It was literally the happiest, most surreal moment of my life. In the hospital, I kept looking over my shoulder thinking that the nurses were going to come in and say, "Just kidding, we'll take him back now." Obviously, I knew that wouldn't happen, but it did cross my mind.

Watching my little guy grow and learn is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. He astounds me every single day with new information that he's picked up. One thing I will say is that they really do pick up everything. It isn't always a good thing. Its been 3 wonderful years since Monster man graced us with his presence and despite not getting as much sleep as I would like, I wouldn't change a thing. Being a working mother, going to grad school online, and trying to manage a household make it very difficult to do everything I would like to do with my life and my family. However, my son has everything he needs and is learning the value of an education. I think its worth it. He is worth it. I will be forever grateful for having my son when I did because he has truly show me how amazing life can be.

Surviving College with a Toddler

There are a lot of moms in my grad school classes and there were a lot in my undergraduate studies, as well. I find it incredibly inspiring and empowering to hear their stories and to know that I am officially one of them. Another question I am asked often, is how I juggle school, work, and a 3 year old. Let me tell you, it is definitely not a walk in the park. However, it really isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I am a firm believer in the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you'll do everything to get it." Its completely true. Another cliche sounding statement that keeps me going is that, it isn't about me anymore. It never really has been. I grew up in a single parent household with a mom struggling to provide the essentials. I told myself that I would never let my son go without. That doesn't mean he will be a spoiled brat that gets everything he asks for, but it does mean that he will get what he needs. This means that I need to be more qualified than the next person in order to get the best job. Which, in turn, requires more schooling. It really isn't about me anymore. I want to be a provider. I want my son to have a childhood and to not have to worry about money. I don't want him to have to be disappointed about not getting Christmas or Birthday presents because I can't afford it. He will want for nothing, but he will also know and come to appreciate hard work.

So, some ways that I stay sane and keep trucking on while going to school with a toddler are: I find time for myself. Whether it is putting in headphones and listening to my favorite music, working on my couponing, a hot shower, it can really be anything that works for you. I know its hard to find time for yourself amongst the chaos that is life, but it is imperative to your sanity. Another thing that helps me stay organized is having a personal planner AND a wall calendar. I really like the planners that have the calendar and the the sections for each individual day. It allows me to write down every assignment's due date and when I am going to complete those assignments. I can also take everything day by day or look ahead, if need be. I make it a habit to write down every assignment, reading, discussion post, etc as soon as I have access to the syllabus. It works out pretty nicely and I rarely have all-nighters.

I also try to make it a habit to only do homework when my monster is sleeping or preoccupied with a game or some sort of activity. Obviously, that isn't always an option, but it definitely helps. Due to work, the time I get to spend with monster man is significantly diminished, so I have to spend as much time with him as possible. He's only 3 once. In just a short year, he will be starting preschool and I don't want to have any regrets or missed opportunities. So, I tend to go to be a little later than I want to or I take advantage of any down time at work. If I have free time, at all, when my little guy isn't with me, I do homework. That way, I can be present when I'm home.

My methods won't work for everyone, but I hope they help shed some light on what student/working moms do in order to give their monsters their undivided attention when they are home. Hope this helps! How do you stay organized while trying to juggle everyday life?

Coupon Tips and Tricks!

Alright lovely friends! I get asked often how I learned how to coupon and where I can find them. So, that’s what this is all about.

If you know me, which most of you do, I can talk about coupons anytime, anywhere, for hours. Literally. Couponing keeps me sane and gives me some sort of control over my crazy, hectic life. Unfortunately, you can never have complete control, i.e., inexperienced cashiers, computer glitches, poor planning. All of these things have happened to me and will probably happen to you as you get started. Don’t let it deter you! Couponing and matching them up with weekly store circulars (ads) saves so much money, and if you’re like me, gives you a huge adrenaline rush!

Another perk is that I know some lovely tips and tricks for both Arizona (particularly the Valley areas) and Northern California now. It is always best to check your store’s coupon policy because policies and deals vary by location and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Plus, it will save you a lot of time at home and a lot of frustration at the checkout.

So, for all of my Arizona friends looking into couponing, here you go! You can find coupons in a lot of local newspapers, such as the Arizona Republic (it does cost money, but it is so very worth it), La Voz (which is in Spanish and free, but can usually be found next to Pro’s Ranch Market or Food City), The East Valley Tribune (free), or The Wall Street Journal (free subscription). You might find more in the free paper containers by local stores, but it depends on the area you’re in.

For printable coupons, there are tons of online resources! Some of my favorites include Coupons, Smartsource, and Redplum. In Northern California, coupons are taken at face value, so you save whatever is on the coupon. However, living in Arizona, you have a HUGE advantage because not only do Safeway AND Fry’s raise any coupon under $1 to $1, but you have an amazing website that lays everything out for you. I HIGHLY recommend following The Cents'Able Shoppin. She lives in the East Valley and makes a list based on weekly sales and matches up the sales with any corresponding coupons to give you the best savings. It’s that easy! She also posts any good deals for just about everything.

For all of you smartphone users, there are tons of amazing apps to help you save money, as well. I, personally, use Ibotta, Favado, Safeway’s Just for u, Target’s Cartwheel app, and ReceiptPal. Before I switched to an Iphone, I used an app called Endorse, but I’m not sure if it is still available. Endorse, ReceiptPal, and Ibotta serve relatively the same purposes. Endorse and Ibotta will give you back money (to a PayPal account) for buying certain products. All you do is scan the receipt and scan the product and then you get credited the amount offered. ReceiptPal allows you to redeem things just for uploading any receipts you may have. Favado is like The Cents’able Shoppin in the fact that it matches store deals with coupons, conveniently on your phone. Safeway’s Just for u app allows you to clip store coupons directly to your loyalty card and then it gives you personalized prices on things you buy regularly. Target’s Cartwheel app gives you percentages off certain items. All you have to do is clip it and then open the app at checkout to allow the cashier to scan the barcode. There are tons more out there and most of them are free, so it is definitely worth it.

I know it is a lot to take in, but it is so worth it. Due to moving and trying to figure out the Northern California couponing scene, my savings was not as much as it was last year (over $4,000), but I have still saved over $2,200 and counting. In order to stay organized, I have a couponing binder, with card sleeves, and a little clutch organizing system. I have included pictures, so you can see what I mean.

Thankfully, there are tons of resources, literally at your fingertips, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask!! I would be happy to help you on your road to saving more!! Hopefully, this help! If you’re already a savvy shopper, what are some ways you cut costs? Any tips and tricks you’d like to add?

New Direction

I've decided to take my blog in a slightly different direction. It started out as a blog for moms and anything mom related, but I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find inspiration. I have no idea what other moms or people in general want or need to read about. So, I have decided to write based on what I want and need and right now. I just need to write.

I've found myself questioning and second guessing myself a lot lately. I have almost completely stopped making decisions for myself anymore because it really isn't about me and what I want anymore. I have the most beautiful little boy a person could ask for, and he loves me unconditionally. Its amazing how someone so small can love and be loved so very much. He deserves the world and its my job to give it to him. My life is crazy. I work with children with developmental disabilities. I'm a full-time grad student. I'm a wife. I'm just about anything and everything I am needed to be, but most of all, I'm a mom. Mom...Such a small, simple word that holds so much meaning. I am meant to be a caregiver, a chauffeur, a cook, a maid, an owie kisser, a jungle gym, and so many other things. At the end of the day, as cliche as it may sound, seeing that little boy's bright blue eyes and big toothy smile, makes up for any hardship life throws at me. Yet, I still question whether or not I am really doing what's best for him. I try, believe me I try my damnedest to make sure I do, but sometimes trying doesn't seem to be enough. Maybe I am trying to make up for him not having very much family around because I feel bad about moving away from them. Or maybe I am trying to make up for the fact that he will never know his grandma or pretty much never see his grandpa. Who knows? I sure don't.

I've been feeling super sentimental lately and a little emotionally unstable. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my mom. Trying to do all of this relatively on my own (Zach's here, too, of course), has definitely taken its toll. I suck at keeping in touch with people because I get so caught up in my own world that I let my relationships just slip away. I'm still working on a lot of things for myself and to better myself. I want to be a mom my son can be proud of and I will do everything in my power to get there. I just need to remember to stop and enjoy the little moments as they come because I never know when they'll stop coming. I just wish some things in life came with a manual or a "Here let me help you" kind of thing. Some guidance or reassurance that I am moving in the right direction would be nice. Oh, well. Here's to those of us who reach for the stars and once we grab them, we reach some more.

Finally figuring myself out.

Hello all!!

I have been pretty on the go lately, but I am finding my time management skills are improving, giving me time to update this lovely little thing.

Have you ever found yourself wondering if you were making the most of your life and yourself? I have been asking myself this question for years and it is kind of sad, really. I thought I had my niche in high school, and it very well could have been for that stage of my life, but it did not work for me when I went out on my own. I'm slowly finding out who I am and who I want to be and it is amazing. I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I am very blessed. I have some of the most amazing friends, despite our distance and time between visits, and the most loving, incredible family. I could not ask for better people to surround myself with. Today, I had my very first session with a client, ever, and it really clicked. I can do this. I can make mistakes, or have bad days, and still be the upbeat, friendly person I have been trying to find again. The last few years have been really rough on me and I feared that I was losing myself in all of life's tragedies and stresses. It turns out, I was just afraid of failure so much, that I never really let myself let go.

Moving out of my home state was terrifying and exciting and terrifying and beautiful. (Not grammatically correct, I'm totally okay with that!) It was a huge step and risk because I didn't know if it would work out. I honestly haven't been this happy or laughed as much as I have since we got here. I have always been a very sharing person. I would give you my last bite or my last dollar if it could help you out, but I'm finding that I am sharing a lot more of myself lately. I still don't like talking about myself, but I'm giving where I need to in order to create and maintain healthy relationships. I'm going through a sort of self-discovery phase, in a sense, and I have found that I really enjoy who I am. I definitely have some things I need to work on and I will never be perfect, but I will be okay with my flaws and start seeing them as ways to better myself rather than shortcomings.

I know this blog is called Mommy and Monster, but I think all moms need a way to release stress and to let other moms know that its okay to want time to yourself. Its okay to not always be Supermom or for your child to throw a tantrum in the grocery store because you won't give him a candy bar. If people judge you, so be it. We are judged so harshly by society and it is impossible to live up to those standards. Someone, somewhere is going to have something to say. So let them say it. Just don't let it get to you. As long as you love your kid(s), are doing your best, and have fun with them, you're good! Sometimes just being present and listening to them talk to you is enough. I am definitely not one to give parenting advice, but I have found that my little monster has more positive interaction with me now that I am not so stressed out. They really do sense your frustrations and insecurities and it weighs on their beautiful little hearts. Try not to let them see it. Its impossible to never be stressed out, but do your best to be as happy and positive around them as possible.

Before we moved, my monster would freak out, cry, throw tantrums, etc when I left. He was never left with someone I didn't know or trust. Yesterday was his first day at a daycare with a woman he had only met once before and he jumped right in. No crying, no leg clinging, just a "Bye Mommy. Have a good day. I love you." He did the same thing when I dropped him off today. He knows that we are both going to be okay.

Sorry I have kind of jumped around quite a bit, but I'm using writing as a stress reliever. Thanks for keeping up with me and being there for/with me through some of the toughest times in my life. I love you all.