Surviving College with a Toddler

There are a lot of moms in my grad school classes and there were a lot in my undergraduate studies, as well. I find it incredibly inspiring and empowering to hear their stories and to know that I am officially one of them. Another question I am asked often, is how I juggle school, work, and a 3 year old. Let me tell you, it is definitely not a walk in the park. However, it really isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I am a firm believer in the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you'll do everything to get it." Its completely true. Another cliche sounding statement that keeps me going is that, it isn't about me anymore. It never really has been. I grew up in a single parent household with a mom struggling to provide the essentials. I told myself that I would never let my son go without. That doesn't mean he will be a spoiled brat that gets everything he asks for, but it does mean that he will get what he needs. This means that I need to be more qualified than the next person in order to get the best job. Which, in turn, requires more schooling. It really isn't about me anymore. I want to be a provider. I want my son to have a childhood and to not have to worry about money. I don't want him to have to be disappointed about not getting Christmas or Birthday presents because I can't afford it. He will want for nothing, but he will also know and come to appreciate hard work.

So, some ways that I stay sane and keep trucking on while going to school with a toddler are: I find time for myself. Whether it is putting in headphones and listening to my favorite music, working on my couponing, a hot shower, it can really be anything that works for you. I know its hard to find time for yourself amongst the chaos that is life, but it is imperative to your sanity. Another thing that helps me stay organized is having a personal planner AND a wall calendar. I really like the planners that have the calendar and the the sections for each individual day. It allows me to write down every assignment's due date and when I am going to complete those assignments. I can also take everything day by day or look ahead, if need be. I make it a habit to write down every assignment, reading, discussion post, etc as soon as I have access to the syllabus. It works out pretty nicely and I rarely have all-nighters.

I also try to make it a habit to only do homework when my monster is sleeping or preoccupied with a game or some sort of activity. Obviously, that isn't always an option, but it definitely helps. Due to work, the time I get to spend with monster man is significantly diminished, so I have to spend as much time with him as possible. He's only 3 once. In just a short year, he will be starting preschool and I don't want to have any regrets or missed opportunities. So, I tend to go to be a little later than I want to or I take advantage of any down time at work. If I have free time, at all, when my little guy isn't with me, I do homework. That way, I can be present when I'm home.

My methods won't work for everyone, but I hope they help shed some light on what student/working moms do in order to give their monsters their undivided attention when they are home. Hope this helps! How do you stay organized while trying to juggle everyday life?

New Direction

I've decided to take my blog in a slightly different direction. It started out as a blog for moms and anything mom related, but I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find inspiration. I have no idea what other moms or people in general want or need to read about. So, I have decided to write based on what I want and need and right now. I just need to write.

I've found myself questioning and second guessing myself a lot lately. I have almost completely stopped making decisions for myself anymore because it really isn't about me and what I want anymore. I have the most beautiful little boy a person could ask for, and he loves me unconditionally. Its amazing how someone so small can love and be loved so very much. He deserves the world and its my job to give it to him. My life is crazy. I work with children with developmental disabilities. I'm a full-time grad student. I'm a wife. I'm just about anything and everything I am needed to be, but most of all, I'm a mom. Mom...Such a small, simple word that holds so much meaning. I am meant to be a caregiver, a chauffeur, a cook, a maid, an owie kisser, a jungle gym, and so many other things. At the end of the day, as cliche as it may sound, seeing that little boy's bright blue eyes and big toothy smile, makes up for any hardship life throws at me. Yet, I still question whether or not I am really doing what's best for him. I try, believe me I try my damnedest to make sure I do, but sometimes trying doesn't seem to be enough. Maybe I am trying to make up for him not having very much family around because I feel bad about moving away from them. Or maybe I am trying to make up for the fact that he will never know his grandma or pretty much never see his grandpa. Who knows? I sure don't.

I've been feeling super sentimental lately and a little emotionally unstable. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my mom. Trying to do all of this relatively on my own (Zach's here, too, of course), has definitely taken its toll. I suck at keeping in touch with people because I get so caught up in my own world that I let my relationships just slip away. I'm still working on a lot of things for myself and to better myself. I want to be a mom my son can be proud of and I will do everything in my power to get there. I just need to remember to stop and enjoy the little moments as they come because I never know when they'll stop coming. I just wish some things in life came with a manual or a "Here let me help you" kind of thing. Some guidance or reassurance that I am moving in the right direction would be nice. Oh, well. Here's to those of us who reach for the stars and once we grab them, we reach some more.