Surviving College with a Toddler

There are a lot of moms in my grad school classes and there were a lot in my undergraduate studies, as well. I find it incredibly inspiring and empowering to hear their stories and to know that I am officially one of them. Another question I am asked often, is how I juggle school, work, and a 3 year old. Let me tell you, it is definitely not a walk in the park. However, it really isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I am a firm believer in the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you'll do everything to get it." Its completely true. Another cliche sounding statement that keeps me going is that, it isn't about me anymore. It never really has been. I grew up in a single parent household with a mom struggling to provide the essentials. I told myself that I would never let my son go without. That doesn't mean he will be a spoiled brat that gets everything he asks for, but it does mean that he will get what he needs. This means that I need to be more qualified than the next person in order to get the best job. Which, in turn, requires more schooling. It really isn't about me anymore. I want to be a provider. I want my son to have a childhood and to not have to worry about money. I don't want him to have to be disappointed about not getting Christmas or Birthday presents because I can't afford it. He will want for nothing, but he will also know and come to appreciate hard work.

So, some ways that I stay sane and keep trucking on while going to school with a toddler are: I find time for myself. Whether it is putting in headphones and listening to my favorite music, working on my couponing, a hot shower, it can really be anything that works for you. I know its hard to find time for yourself amongst the chaos that is life, but it is imperative to your sanity. Another thing that helps me stay organized is having a personal planner AND a wall calendar. I really like the planners that have the calendar and the the sections for each individual day. It allows me to write down every assignment's due date and when I am going to complete those assignments. I can also take everything day by day or look ahead, if need be. I make it a habit to write down every assignment, reading, discussion post, etc as soon as I have access to the syllabus. It works out pretty nicely and I rarely have all-nighters.

I also try to make it a habit to only do homework when my monster is sleeping or preoccupied with a game or some sort of activity. Obviously, that isn't always an option, but it definitely helps. Due to work, the time I get to spend with monster man is significantly diminished, so I have to spend as much time with him as possible. He's only 3 once. In just a short year, he will be starting preschool and I don't want to have any regrets or missed opportunities. So, I tend to go to be a little later than I want to or I take advantage of any down time at work. If I have free time, at all, when my little guy isn't with me, I do homework. That way, I can be present when I'm home.

My methods won't work for everyone, but I hope they help shed some light on what student/working moms do in order to give their monsters their undivided attention when they are home. Hope this helps! How do you stay organized while trying to juggle everyday life?

Finally figuring myself out.

Hello all!!

I have been pretty on the go lately, but I am finding my time management skills are improving, giving me time to update this lovely little thing.

Have you ever found yourself wondering if you were making the most of your life and yourself? I have been asking myself this question for years and it is kind of sad, really. I thought I had my niche in high school, and it very well could have been for that stage of my life, but it did not work for me when I went out on my own. I'm slowly finding out who I am and who I want to be and it is amazing. I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I am very blessed. I have some of the most amazing friends, despite our distance and time between visits, and the most loving, incredible family. I could not ask for better people to surround myself with. Today, I had my very first session with a client, ever, and it really clicked. I can do this. I can make mistakes, or have bad days, and still be the upbeat, friendly person I have been trying to find again. The last few years have been really rough on me and I feared that I was losing myself in all of life's tragedies and stresses. It turns out, I was just afraid of failure so much, that I never really let myself let go.

Moving out of my home state was terrifying and exciting and terrifying and beautiful. (Not grammatically correct, I'm totally okay with that!) It was a huge step and risk because I didn't know if it would work out. I honestly haven't been this happy or laughed as much as I have since we got here. I have always been a very sharing person. I would give you my last bite or my last dollar if it could help you out, but I'm finding that I am sharing a lot more of myself lately. I still don't like talking about myself, but I'm giving where I need to in order to create and maintain healthy relationships. I'm going through a sort of self-discovery phase, in a sense, and I have found that I really enjoy who I am. I definitely have some things I need to work on and I will never be perfect, but I will be okay with my flaws and start seeing them as ways to better myself rather than shortcomings.

I know this blog is called Mommy and Monster, but I think all moms need a way to release stress and to let other moms know that its okay to want time to yourself. Its okay to not always be Supermom or for your child to throw a tantrum in the grocery store because you won't give him a candy bar. If people judge you, so be it. We are judged so harshly by society and it is impossible to live up to those standards. Someone, somewhere is going to have something to say. So let them say it. Just don't let it get to you. As long as you love your kid(s), are doing your best, and have fun with them, you're good! Sometimes just being present and listening to them talk to you is enough. I am definitely not one to give parenting advice, but I have found that my little monster has more positive interaction with me now that I am not so stressed out. They really do sense your frustrations and insecurities and it weighs on their beautiful little hearts. Try not to let them see it. Its impossible to never be stressed out, but do your best to be as happy and positive around them as possible.

Before we moved, my monster would freak out, cry, throw tantrums, etc when I left. He was never left with someone I didn't know or trust. Yesterday was his first day at a daycare with a woman he had only met once before and he jumped right in. No crying, no leg clinging, just a "Bye Mommy. Have a good day. I love you." He did the same thing when I dropped him off today. He knows that we are both going to be okay.

Sorry I have kind of jumped around quite a bit, but I'm using writing as a stress reliever. Thanks for keeping up with me and being there for/with me through some of the toughest times in my life. I love you all.

Finding Myself, My Family, My Passion

Hey guys!

I am super sorry I have been M.I.A. the last few months. I have been dealing with a lot of personal issues and decisions and I just could not find the time to update. So, here is a little update for you all now.

I started working for a housecleaning company that really took advantage of its workers. You were paid $10/hr for regular clients, minimum wage for new clients, and you weren't paid for driving time. I got paid for about 15 hours a week, but I was gone for about 40 with driving time. I had to sit back and reevaluate my life and where it was headed. I have a Bachelor's degree in Family and Human Development and I am currently attending Grad School for Professional Counseling. Arizona was not working out for my family and I, so we make the big leap (one state over) to Northern California. We had a lot of setbacks getting here, but we finally made it.

We could not be happier. I have had to figure out the new coupon policies and go out of my comfort zone, once again, to make friends. However, I was just hired as a Behavioral Skills Therapist making really good money and the husband was just hired at Dish. We still have a ways to go to really get where we want to be, but at least we are moving forward. I feel lighter than I have in years and my family seems to be a lot less stressed out.

Now I just have to find a good daycare, find another hobby, make new friends, and so on. Life just doesn't seem to be as daunting as it was just a couple of months ago.