It isn't about me anymore...

A friend of mine was talking about all of the things she wishes she could have done before having her son. Traveling... partying... college... etc... And I have read countless stories about young mothers having the same feelings. Even going as far as dumping their kids on relatives and babysitters, so they can go out every weekend. I understand wanting to have a social life. Believe me, I do, but it isn't about me anymore. It hasn't been about me since I first found out I was pregnant.

Pregnancy. There are tons of books and research done on the topic, but you never get the full story. For some women, pregnancy is a dream. No pain, no morning sickness, just the joy of feeling your baby grow and move. For others, like myself, it isn't such a walk in the park. Frankly, being pregnant sucked. Morning sickness is a terrible little devil that doesn't always go away and strikes any time of day or night, not only in the morning, as the name suggests. Heartburn is a beast and no amount of tums can take it away. Joint pains, waddling, backaches, headaches, feet swelling, not to mention being the size of a whale, are just a few of the other things expecting mothers can look forward to. However, it really is all worth it.

As a mother, no matter the age, we get to experience the purest form of love and adoration. despite the stretch marks, weight gain, lack of sleep, our children see us as the most beautiful, amazing person they have ever met. We are Moms. We have the least and highest paid job out there, but it is definitely the most important. We get to experience life first hand. Hearing it, seeing it, feeling it. We know that love at first sight, or even before actually meeting, is truly possible and so very strong. I won't lie, I cried like a baby when I first saw and held my little guy. It was literally the happiest, most surreal moment of my life. In the hospital, I kept looking over my shoulder thinking that the nurses were going to come in and say, "Just kidding, we'll take him back now." Obviously, I knew that wouldn't happen, but it did cross my mind.

Watching my little guy grow and learn is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. He astounds me every single day with new information that he's picked up. One thing I will say is that they really do pick up everything. It isn't always a good thing. Its been 3 wonderful years since Monster man graced us with his presence and despite not getting as much sleep as I would like, I wouldn't change a thing. Being a working mother, going to grad school online, and trying to manage a household make it very difficult to do everything I would like to do with my life and my family. However, my son has everything he needs and is learning the value of an education. I think its worth it. He is worth it. I will be forever grateful for having my son when I did because he has truly show me how amazing life can be.

Surviving College with a Toddler

There are a lot of moms in my grad school classes and there were a lot in my undergraduate studies, as well. I find it incredibly inspiring and empowering to hear their stories and to know that I am officially one of them. Another question I am asked often, is how I juggle school, work, and a 3 year old. Let me tell you, it is definitely not a walk in the park. However, it really isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I am a firm believer in the saying, "If you want something bad enough, you'll do everything to get it." Its completely true. Another cliche sounding statement that keeps me going is that, it isn't about me anymore. It never really has been. I grew up in a single parent household with a mom struggling to provide the essentials. I told myself that I would never let my son go without. That doesn't mean he will be a spoiled brat that gets everything he asks for, but it does mean that he will get what he needs. This means that I need to be more qualified than the next person in order to get the best job. Which, in turn, requires more schooling. It really isn't about me anymore. I want to be a provider. I want my son to have a childhood and to not have to worry about money. I don't want him to have to be disappointed about not getting Christmas or Birthday presents because I can't afford it. He will want for nothing, but he will also know and come to appreciate hard work.

So, some ways that I stay sane and keep trucking on while going to school with a toddler are: I find time for myself. Whether it is putting in headphones and listening to my favorite music, working on my couponing, a hot shower, it can really be anything that works for you. I know its hard to find time for yourself amongst the chaos that is life, but it is imperative to your sanity. Another thing that helps me stay organized is having a personal planner AND a wall calendar. I really like the planners that have the calendar and the the sections for each individual day. It allows me to write down every assignment's due date and when I am going to complete those assignments. I can also take everything day by day or look ahead, if need be. I make it a habit to write down every assignment, reading, discussion post, etc as soon as I have access to the syllabus. It works out pretty nicely and I rarely have all-nighters.

I also try to make it a habit to only do homework when my monster is sleeping or preoccupied with a game or some sort of activity. Obviously, that isn't always an option, but it definitely helps. Due to work, the time I get to spend with monster man is significantly diminished, so I have to spend as much time with him as possible. He's only 3 once. In just a short year, he will be starting preschool and I don't want to have any regrets or missed opportunities. So, I tend to go to be a little later than I want to or I take advantage of any down time at work. If I have free time, at all, when my little guy isn't with me, I do homework. That way, I can be present when I'm home.

My methods won't work for everyone, but I hope they help shed some light on what student/working moms do in order to give their monsters their undivided attention when they are home. Hope this helps! How do you stay organized while trying to juggle everyday life?

Finally figuring myself out.

Hello all!!

I have been pretty on the go lately, but I am finding my time management skills are improving, giving me time to update this lovely little thing.

Have you ever found yourself wondering if you were making the most of your life and yourself? I have been asking myself this question for years and it is kind of sad, really. I thought I had my niche in high school, and it very well could have been for that stage of my life, but it did not work for me when I went out on my own. I'm slowly finding out who I am and who I want to be and it is amazing. I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I am very blessed. I have some of the most amazing friends, despite our distance and time between visits, and the most loving, incredible family. I could not ask for better people to surround myself with. Today, I had my very first session with a client, ever, and it really clicked. I can do this. I can make mistakes, or have bad days, and still be the upbeat, friendly person I have been trying to find again. The last few years have been really rough on me and I feared that I was losing myself in all of life's tragedies and stresses. It turns out, I was just afraid of failure so much, that I never really let myself let go.

Moving out of my home state was terrifying and exciting and terrifying and beautiful. (Not grammatically correct, I'm totally okay with that!) It was a huge step and risk because I didn't know if it would work out. I honestly haven't been this happy or laughed as much as I have since we got here. I have always been a very sharing person. I would give you my last bite or my last dollar if it could help you out, but I'm finding that I am sharing a lot more of myself lately. I still don't like talking about myself, but I'm giving where I need to in order to create and maintain healthy relationships. I'm going through a sort of self-discovery phase, in a sense, and I have found that I really enjoy who I am. I definitely have some things I need to work on and I will never be perfect, but I will be okay with my flaws and start seeing them as ways to better myself rather than shortcomings.

I know this blog is called Mommy and Monster, but I think all moms need a way to release stress and to let other moms know that its okay to want time to yourself. Its okay to not always be Supermom or for your child to throw a tantrum in the grocery store because you won't give him a candy bar. If people judge you, so be it. We are judged so harshly by society and it is impossible to live up to those standards. Someone, somewhere is going to have something to say. So let them say it. Just don't let it get to you. As long as you love your kid(s), are doing your best, and have fun with them, you're good! Sometimes just being present and listening to them talk to you is enough. I am definitely not one to give parenting advice, but I have found that my little monster has more positive interaction with me now that I am not so stressed out. They really do sense your frustrations and insecurities and it weighs on their beautiful little hearts. Try not to let them see it. Its impossible to never be stressed out, but do your best to be as happy and positive around them as possible.

Before we moved, my monster would freak out, cry, throw tantrums, etc when I left. He was never left with someone I didn't know or trust. Yesterday was his first day at a daycare with a woman he had only met once before and he jumped right in. No crying, no leg clinging, just a "Bye Mommy. Have a good day. I love you." He did the same thing when I dropped him off today. He knows that we are both going to be okay.

Sorry I have kind of jumped around quite a bit, but I'm using writing as a stress reliever. Thanks for keeping up with me and being there for/with me through some of the toughest times in my life. I love you all.

Mess-free Painting!!!

So, I'm proud to say, I thought of this all on my own and then found it on Interest about a week later. (I knew someone else had to have had this idea since its so simple and genius.) All you need is a ziploc bag, some paint, cotton swabs, and a lovely little person to enjoy it! Pour some paint into the ziploc, close it and smoosh the paint around, then give it to your monster! Obviously, your child needs to be supervised, especially since mine figured out how to open the bag within five minutes. However, he enjoyed this paint in a bag for about 30-45 minutes.

What are some quick and easy arts and crafts you and your monster do?

Homemade Mozzarella Bites!

If your kids are anything like mine, they go through food stages. My monster will love one thing one day and refuse to eat it the next. However, bite sized foods that he can dip, are always a win. Not to mention, Mom and Dad love them, too!

I found this recipe on Pinterest, but it originally came from the blog Never Trust a Skinny Cook. Apparently, some people were having problems with theirs melting into 'cheese puddles', however, mine came out just fine. This is something the kids can help you make, too, which is always a plus for me! So here it is:

Ingredients that I used:
Small bowl of 1% milk
1 (12count) package of 2% string cheese
Panko bread crumbs
I added parsley and garlic powder to the bread crumbs for flavor, but you can add whatever you'd like.

Preheat the oven to 425. Unwrap your cheese and start cutting into little balls.

They should end up looking kind of like mini marshmallows

Then, you dip the cheese bites into the milk. Transfer it to the bread crumbs and toss them around until they are as coated as possible. *Note- if you use panko bread crumbs, they will not look very coated, but it still works out really well. Toss them on a greased cookie sheet and put the in the oven for 6-10 minutes, depending on your oven.

This is what ours looked like.

Not only are they healthier than the fried or frozen mozzarella sticks, you also can turn this into a family learning/fun moment! Enjoy!! Let me know of any variations you might try, I would love to try them, myself!

The Big Bad Potty Training Monster

Hey guys! First off, I want to apologize for being MIA for the last month or so. My computer was stolen and I have been in he process of moving, among other lovely life things. I am pretty much moved, so I am hoping to be able to update a lot more. Let's get to it!

I'm sure you all have heard potty training horror stories and that its this long drawn out ordeal. In my personal experience, that's only half true. I am happy to say that I am the proud Mama of a 2 1/2 year old little boy and you get to hear (read) about our lovely transition from diapers to normal toilets.

I attempted to start potty training at about 18 months which is a little too early, in my opinion. However, I wanted to be that mom with the incredibly mature, well-behaved, advanced child. Who doesn't? I bought a little training toilet and bunch of cute little cheap toys and candy from the Walmart party section for prizes when my son went potty on his little toilet. I found this cool blog post on Pinterest that walks you through a 3 day potty training adventure Growing a Jeweled Rose. So, we gave it a try....3 different times... over a span of 3 months or so. Let's just say it never worked out.

So, I put it off for a little while because he clearly wasn't ready. then, I decided to just keep taking him to the bathroom when my husband or I went to see if showed any interest. Eventually, he started sitting on the toilet, bu still didn't go. He actually didn't go potty in his toilet until he was going in the bath and I quickly moved him over. I praised him so much that he started trying to go more often, bu still not enough to attempt real underwear. So, I kind of laid off a little again.

Then, out of nowhere, he decided he wanted to go on the potty all the time by himself and he did. It took about 3-4 weeks of solid potty training and him actually doing it really well before he went out of the house without a diaper on. I was so nervous he would pee his pants the first time I took him out without a diaper, but he did so well and told me when he had to go.

I know I have been rambling a bit, but I just wanted you to know that it won't always happen the first...or second... or even fifth time. Don't give up! Your child will let you know when they're ready, but don't be afraid to expose them to the toilet early. Also, be patient. Getting upset with them for having an accident or not going at all will make them associate the potty with negative feelings. Praise as much as possible! Positive reinforcement is your greatest ally. Use it! And last but not least, listen to your child. They are a lot smarter than we give them credit for!

What are some of your tips and tricks for potty training? Any horror stories? Also, don't forget to follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter!!

Manic Mondays

Is it just me or do Mondays seem a bit more stressful that the rest of the week? You would think a person would get used to it after 23 years of having Mondays. However, I have not.

I set so many goals for myself to accomplish throughout the day and I only ever get about half of them done. My son always seems to be much more of a monster than usual, and I tend to give up on cleaning or baking, or whatever other task I was working on, before it even hits noon! Whoever tries to tell you this whole "parenting/housewife" business is easy, either hasn't done it, or they are lying through their teeth.

My Mondays usually end up with me and the monster going for a walk, a coupon haul, or vegging on the couch/floor playing. Not a terrible day, by any means, just incredibly unproductive.

I am thinking of making myself, my husband, my brother, and my monster all separate chore charts in order to try to prevent my Manic Mondays. Pinterest is amazing for finding just about anything, but you have to have an account. In order to get one, a friend who already has it, needs to invite you. You can try signing up without an invitation, but you'll be waiting forever to get an account. Before my invite, I had been waiting three months. WARNING: Pinterest is addicting! Don't say I didn't warn you!

How do you get over the "Monday Hump?" Is there some trick I don't know about? As always, if you have any questions, concerns, comments, suggestions, etc, feel free to email me at avittori@asu.edu.

Happy Almost Tuesday!!!